The Celebrity Perv Apology Generator is hilariously, depressingly accurate.

Why are celebrity apologies so … bad? Like … head-scratchingly bad?

Harvey Weinstein prefaced his by saying that he “came of age in the ‘6 0s and ‘7 0s, when all the rules about behavior in workplaces were different.” Louis C.K . noted that he “never presented a woman[ his] dick without asking first.” Kevin Spacey felt the need to say, “I choose now to live as a gay man.”

For having access to some of the best public relations professionals in the world, it seems celebrities only can’t appears to put together a statement of contrition that actually comes off as genuine.

Kevin Spacey and Harvey Weinstein have both recently released less-than-stellar apologies for truly reprehensible acts. Photos by Christopher Polk/ Getty Images, Photo by Drew Angerer/ Getty Images.

Author Dana Schwartz jokingly tweeted plans to start “a small business ghostwriting half-hearted apologies for celebrity pervs.” Within 24 hours, it became a reality.

Teaming up with decorators Rob Sheridan and Scott McCaughey, Schwartz launched the Celebrity Perv Apology Generator, where anyone can go and get their very own half-assed apology for free. It’s satire at its best, reflecting non-apologies back on the celebrities who give them.

“Please consult for all your celebrity perv apology wants, ” Schwartz tweeted.

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